Murdering Stupid People

Last Monday I punched a car. The car in question was moving. I would have written about it at the time, but I'd already bitch-slapped the commercialization of Halloween and wanted that to have all the attention for a while. Halloween is over now though, and dentists everywhere are rejoicing, so we may all now collectively move on to more important things, like why I punched a moving car.

So there I am at a red light, waiting to cross the street to get to the office. The opposing light goes red. In the inside lane going that way, a school bus has entered the intersection and its back end is not yet in it. The bus hesitates, then continues through the intersection to get out of the way of opposing traffic. In the outside lane, the lane nearest me, a red minivan was in the same situation. It stopped, realized it was in the intersection, and continued through. Two seconds behind it, a black car that looked like a Lincoln of some type decides red means go, and advances in to the intersection. I step directly in its way with my arms out to the side, and it adjusts its direction to go around me. So I punch his fucking car on the way by.

The guy never even slowed down; didn't even notice. He probably has no idea he did anything wrong, too.

I'll punch your fucking car!

Honestly, some people are just too stupid to live. It should be legal to shoot stupid people just for being stupid. That would solve, what, seven problems at once?

  1. The stupid people are quickly removed from the gene pool, thus enhancing the average intelligence on the planet. Darwin would be proud.
  2. Less crowding. Seriously, less people means more room.
  3. Better economy. More money, fewer people. Money is instantly more plentiful.
  4. Less starvation. See 3. I do not endorse the production of Soylent Green.
  5. Better employment rate. See 3 and 4. This can be repeated ad nauseum for all supply and demand cases.
  6. Violence serves a purpose. Rather than putting offenders in jail, tell them to only attack stupid people. Those people get their rage out without hurting anyone worth keeping around, and stupid people get punished for being stupid.
  7. Smaller police force is needed, since the law is being carried out by civilians with their blessing. Odds are if someone comes calling on the cops, the reason is they were caught being stupid and had it coming.

On top of that, you could make a sport of it! Round up stupid people and keep them in cages, and use them as game. Sell packages to allow people to hunt the stupid people on your farm. Capitalism thrives from removing human stupidity! Seriously, I should nominate myself for smartest man alive.

Discuss this article in the forums

Share:  
submit to reddit

Got something to say to me?