Where Are You Going!?

Have you ever been driving along the road (as opposed to the tree), and had someone shoot out across two lanes of traffic to enter the turning lane at the last possible moment? I hate those people. I hate them because they suck.

The idea here is simple. Presumably, you know where you're going. I'd even go so far as to say you know how to get there, and you might even have planned out your route in advance. So why the fuck can't you stick to your own plan?

I'd be willing to bet it's all about speed. You're so enamoured with the left hand lane, often referred to as the "fast lane," that you want to spend as much of your time as possible inside it. You caress it, you speak to it, you call it your precious little strip, and do other things with it that I can't even repeat here. Assuming the law is with you, there's nothing wrong with this.

The problem comes from your complete inability to plan ahead. You need to turn right at the third stop light. It stands to reason you may need to be in the right hand lane in order to accomplish this task, don't you think? You should probably move over some time between here and there, to make sure you don't miss your turn. So why do you always wait until the last fucking minute to move!?

All you're accomplishing by waiting as long as possible is causing stress on everyone involved. You're under stress because you're panicking to make your turn. The people you inevitably cut off are under stress because you're driving like a fucking lunatic. The people behind those people are under stress because they're forced to jump on the brakes when your erratic driving habits make those people have to stop immediately or else hit you. And whoever you're going to see is put under stress when you tell them your war story about how you almost didn't make it, because they are trying desperately not to punch you in the face with their chair.

Then there's the times when you aren't able to make your turn. What do you inevitably do? You roll down your passenger side window to yell at the other guy for not letting you through! Nobody but you is responsible for your incompetence. Do not blame another driver for your failure to plan ahead.

It is a whole lot easier on everyone involved if you just plan your move in advance. If you need to be turning right, be in the right hand lane. If you need to turn left, be in the left hand lane. Don't get all pissy when your stupidity leads to problems for you, and stop letting your stupidity get in the way of other people. You won't receive any thanks, but you'll certainly receive fewer middle fingers.

The Finger

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