= != > (the equality article)

Since long before I was born, people have been campaigning for equality. Blacks and Whites should be equal: end slavery! Men and Women should be equal: abolish sexism! The stupid should be accepted: sdlf sdflsewd! If only that's what people were really after...

Now, if seeking equality led to true equality and everyone was happy with that, I wouldn't have an article to write. Everything would be right in the world, and I'd probably be getting a drunken blowjob right now. Sadly, people are stupid. The problem with seeking equality is that it's never true equality that people go after, but superiority. I want everything you have, and more, because that will make us equal. Sorry asshole, it doesn't work that way.

Let's take a brief look at racism, to get us all geared up. Thousands of years ago, the Jews were enslaved in Egypt, and according to the Torah, God led the Jews to freedom through a series of really fucked up situations. Many many years later, several Jews figured out how to make a lot of money by managing money, and that was that. A perfect racial equality story: they were slaves, then they found their niche, and now they are basically equal.

Significantly more recently, Blacks were sold in to slavery in the southern United States, and all kinds of racial slurs were used against them. Words like nigger, spade, spear chucker, jungle bunny, porch monkey, darkie, coon, and a whole lot more. Nigger was by far the most 'popular' of these. After the abolition of slavery in the U.S., Blacks were accepted as equals over time, and nobody can deny how much they have enriched the world of music over the last hundred and fifty years. But for some reason, the world nigger has gone from "standard racial slur" to "great controversy."

If one black man says nigger to another black man, and they're not both very drunk, odds are nothing will come of it because they have adopted it as their own familiar slang, like calling your friend an asshole. If a white man says it, though, he'd better be diving for cover, because even if the guy he says it to doesn't take offense, odds are somebody in the room will, and it's amazing how much damage a sharpened pencil can do to the human body.

Equality means everyone is the same, which means if you can say nigger, I should be able to say nigger too. You don't hear Jews calling each other kyke, do you? No, because the word is unacceptable in all circles. Nigger is either an acceptable word, or it isn't, and that's the fundamental basis of equality: it's the same for everybody.

Now, that's a very specific example of how the equality people seek isn't really equality. I won't even talk about all the people who preach racial tolerance and then bitch about the "fucking arabs" all the time. There is a much more prevalent example of inequality which goes on all around you and you probably don't even realise it, and it's the real point of this article: sexism.

Women have sought equality for many years, and a comparably short time ago they were allowed to vote in the United States. I don't know when this happened in most other countries, so I'll just focus on that one; suffice it to say it happened at different times in different places, and in some places it hasn't happened yet. So why are women now so far above men socially?

Let's look at the media first. When's the last time you saw an intelligent man in a TV commercial? There's a Canadian company called Canadian Tire that runs all kinds of DIY ads, and in over 90% of them the man is entirely incompetent and it's the woman who saves the day. Wouldn't true equality mean the man is allowed to know what he's doing too?

Going beyond that, how many intelligent, interesting men have you seen in TV sitcoms recently? The last one I remember seeing is Frasier, and that show hasn't had new episodes in years. How many boors are there? Now, switch that around and count the women who fit in to each category. It's staggering how great the disparity between the genders is on television. Now, count the number of monkeys. This doesn't relate to sexism at all, I just want to see if you'll do it.

Now, as big a difference as there is in sitcoms, those are fantasy women you'll never even meet in real life, and even if you do it'll be the actor who plays them. What about gender inequality in the world around you? Women want to be treated fairly and equally. That means they get a bunch of stuff they didn't have before, such as:

  • Equal pay
  • Equal job opportunity
  • The right to vote
  • More overall respect
  • A penis

Yes, getting those things brings them up to par with the men in their society. Except the last one, which makes them some freaky hybrid that will probably end up taking over the planet in five hundred years. Now, what people seem not to realise is that if men and women are to be truly equal, then women also need to lose the female benefits they enjoy. Things like:

  • Automatically getting the last available seat
  • Getting people to offer their seats to you
  • Automatically getting to go in line earlier
  • Not having to pay for dates
  • The ability to hit people with impunity
  • Automatic upper-hand in custody battles
  • Fifty pairs of shoes to take up the whole fucking closet with

If you want to preach equality, I'm going to preach it too. That means if there's one seat left and I see you coming for it, I'm sitting down. If you ask me for it, I will tell you to piss off because I got there first. If we are on a date, you are just as likely to pay for my meal as I am, and I don't have to hold the door for you. And if we bump accidentally and you slap me for it, I will slap you back just as fucking hard. Is this because I'm an unworthy chauvinist asshole who mistreats women and should be shunned for my actions? Fuck no. This is because I believe in equality, and that means I will treat a woman exactly the same way I treat a man.

Equality means the death of chivalry, whether you like it or not. My girlfriend and I alternate who pays, and if it's an expensive classy meal we each pay our own. THAT is equality. If the only reason you can give me for wanting something is "I'm a woman," then fuck you. You want equality? I demand it, and that means all the lovely benefits of having tits go straight out the fucking window. Preaching equality and then refusing to give up the benefits you have is hypocricy, and hypocrites fucking suck. Me? I don't see race or gender when I talk to someone, I see a unique person who should be treated the same as every other unique person until they prove otherwise. That is how equality works.

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