I'll Rub Your Fucking Nose In It!
Picture a man going on a journey beyond his driveway. He's walking, as most people do when they want to use the sidewalk. Suddenly, he loses his footing, sending his feet in front of him and over his head, falling backwards and slamming his head in to the cement, a sloppy brown mess shooting forward from his displaced foot. That's right, he slipped on dog shit.
Most parks I'm aware of (and almost certainly some I'm not aware of) have signs that clearly say things like "Stoop And Scoop" or "Poop On Our Grass And We'll Fucking Shoot You." The reason for this is simple: minimizing dog shit related fatalities. And yet, somehow people just can't figure out how to take care of their best friend's rectal juices.
Just so there's no confusion, let me actually show you what I'm talking about:
- This is a piece of dog shit on a sidewalk
- This is a sloppy mess of dog shit on a subway car
- This is a piece of dog shit with a flag of George W. Bush stuck in it
- This is the only picture that is returned from a Google Image search for dog shit bottle rocket with SafeSearch turned off (go ahead and try it)
Those images were edited for use on my site from sixthseal.com, rotten.com, rotten.com and fungusboy.net respectively under Fair Use. That's called "citing your sources." Take that you fucking lawyers.
Now, I don't give a rat's ass about where your dog drops its chocolate marshmallows. In fact, I'll give anyone who can actually get someone to eat dog shit by passing it off as chocolate marshmallows five dollars. My only concern is what happens after the shit hits the ground.
It's not like it's difficult to carry a plastic bag with you and pick up your dog's roadside deposit with it. In fact, everyone should carry some around with them. Then, the next time you see someone not clean up after their mongrel, you pick it up and throw it at their fucking head. Repeat as necessary.
The point here is very simple: NOBODY WANTS TO STEP IN ANYTHING THAT PASSES THROUGH A DOG'S ASS! Stop polluting the Earth, and clean up your fucking mess.